Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Lysistrata.


D
. left Perth and went back to Singapore two days ago. After spending three weekends here on holiday.

[ I am actively trying to avoid the use of "back" and the ilk when referring to Singapore. Western Australia is my base for now. Perth may even be
home in the future - perhaps even more than Singapore ever was. ]

This was her 3rd (or was it 4th?) visit to Perth since I moved here almost a year ago. Every time she leaves, I get this empty hollow feeling deep in my gut. I miss her presence around me. And I miss her next to me when I wake up. And I even sort of miss the clutter of her stuff scattered all over my room shelves. We are far from that Taiwanese-soap-opera "cannot life without you and will pine away and not eat and not sleep and fall sick and die" type melodrama - which we kid each other about. However the truth is that even though life here is pretty good as-is compared to my life in Singapore, the world just has a lot richer colours and more taste when she is next to me. Even the housemate admits that the house feels more empty without her around.

However traditional declarations of love that use phrases like "the better half" or "you complete me" or "sum of parts" annoy the hell out of me. We are both and each an individual complete person totally capable of leading fulfilling lives on our own - it is just that we become even better people when we happen to be together.

So I will just leave this as to any question about if we are still togther. And to shift the focus of this post before it degenerates into incoherent babbling reminiscent of infatuated teenagers. We still have responsibilities which would hold us apart till at least 2007 - so we make do with what we have till then.

***

One surprising revelation over the last two weeks was when D. commented that she was glad that she talked me into moving to Perth first without her, and that she was glad it turned out to be the correct decision since I appear to be happy here versus miserable in Singapore. Those events happened even before she had successfully obtained her Australian PR visa and while we were still unsure if she would be able to move here on a permanent basis.

Somehow that was not the way I remember it. I seem to recall that I was being all indecisive on the situation for weeks and finally deciding with great fear that I would lose D. in the process. Although my memory is starting to get hazy. Is that how the long-time readers of this blog remember it as well (for an objective view - though filtered through the lenses of my bloggging)?

D. says that she was the first to plant the idea in my head, encouraging this course of action. I find it quite an amazing disconnect from what I remember from a year back. You mean it was D. who planted the idea in my head and encouraged it, while still allowing me to think it was all my own? (Not improbably since the woman has a lot more tact, diplomacy and sensitivity compared to to me who is as dense as a brick at times.)

Assuming D.'s version of this little bit of personal history is the more accurate, I am amused (and a little amazed). No matter how rational I think myself to be, and no matter how methodical I try to be; it all goes to pieces when faced with certain feminine charms and wiles. I do not know about how the rest of the male population interact with their partners but D. persuades me as much via her charms as she does to a straightforward appeal to reason and logic. I wonder if this is just a personal failing or a failing of all (most?) men in general?

[ Not that I personally mind being "influenced" in such a manner, since most of the time we are on the same side - having similar motivations driving our intents. And when our motivations and decisions do differ, we try to be honest and upfront about them and to avoid emotional blackmail. ]

***

At this point in time if I have to re-do the entire migration journey again from scratch, one of the issues I would handle very differently is the application details / timing of the partner's visa and more (and earlier) in-depth discussions with regards to planning the move of the partner.

Which is the exact advice I have given to a friend who is currently applying for Australia PR as well in preparation for a possible move.

3 Comments:

Blogger Calamity Man said...

i sense a little tinge of blue. i hope i am wrong.

look bro, you gotta keep the faith alright.

June 07, 2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger onekell said...

I like the dynamics of the relationship that you have and the way that you appreciate her. I hope to have that for myself some day.

*fingers crossed for your early reunion*

June 08, 2006 10:37 PM  
Blogger MercerMachine said...

women are (sometimes) extremely subtle creatures. for her, suggesting/convincing you to make the move might well have been no more than a raised eyebrow or a slight smile during a conversation.

June 19, 2006 8:58 AM  

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