Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Holding Pattern.


Nothing that a pint of Haagen Dazs, a litre of Absolut and a big hug cannot fix.
- tagline on my personal email from way back in my university days
Since the first and last item are not readily available in Perth, I therefore have less tools at my disposal to cheer me up during the rougher emotional days. Like last Monday for instance when I had a broken tooth giving me pain, getting chewed out for denting the company vehicle on a supply run, trying to face a stack of credit card bills on the shelves, and generally feeling not too great from the lack of sleep and quiet time. And missing D. very much. Especially missing D. very much.

But enough whingeing for now!

Baskin-Robbins makes for an acceptable substitute in a pinch, but there is no way it can pass for the full creamy-milk taste of Haagen Dazs. And technically the bottle of Absolut I was working my way through was only a 700ml (not quite a litre). And of course my supply of big hugs is backordered since early July, scheduled ETA only at end-December. (Can you tell my day job is starting to infect my brain?)


***


The work situation is starting to grind me down.

Work. Work. Sleep. Work. Work. Sleep. Work. Work. Sleep. Work. Work.

And squeeze whatever else around whatever gaps are available. You get the idea. I am easily chalking up at least 60 hours a week, maybe even 80-hour weeks. On the upside, the regular routine is rather comforting in a perverse sort of way. At least a routine offers something concrete to look forward to (or to dread). It is a good change from the aimlessness and uncertainty I was enshrouded in before I left the small island. As the saying goes: Plenty of time to rest when you are dead.

I think it has been over 7 weeks since I got into this routine (according to date stamps of the oldest office emails from the day-job), and there is a general feeling of losing all track of time and loss of conscious focus on long term goals. Just the hazy feeling of mild mental sleep-deprivation, as body cycles are pharmaceutically regulated by C8H10N4O2 and C2H5OH.

And keeping busy keeps me from sinking in self-absorbed melancholy and keeps in check the withdrawal symptoms of not having D. at my side.

How now brown cow?

I really do not know. And it is kind of nice not knowing. Whatever it is I am doing now seems to be working. So I am going to continue doing what I am doing until what I am doing stops working. This holding pattern will proably last at least for another six weeks or so till Christmas anyway. In the meantime, keep doing whatever I am doing until I figure out where I am headed. There is no point maximizing the speed of travel when the direction is still unknown.

Hope is an anchor and love is a ship, time is the ocean and life is a trip
You don't know where you're going, ‘till you know where you're at
And if you can't read the stars, well you better have a map
A compass and a conscience, so you don’t get lost at sea
Or on some lonely island, where no one wants to be
- George Strait, lyrics to You'll Be There


***


The house is starting to feel a bit more lived-in now. Thanks to the efforts of my housemates primarily.

My belongings are still piled in a heap all over my shelves, and I am not fully unpacked. And amazingly we now have more computers in that house than we have feet in total. And internet access at more than 12Mbps after the latest firmware upgrade on the newly-acquired wireless router.

And the little things like raisins and cashews for snacks on the dining table, chocolates and vodka in the fridge, and honey and coffee on the shelf. And actually key-holders and shower curtains and extra toilet paper in the toilets. And a washer and a dryer in the the house. No more midnight visits to cold laundromats only to find that insufficient change to operate the coin-machines, yay!

And the big gas heater in front of the television - which has since been jury-rigged to play DVDs from a computer located in the other furthest end of the house. And one of my housemates bugging the rental agent to fix a kitchen fluorescent light fixture that threatens to come crashing down (held up to plasterboard ceiling by only one flimsy screw) on whichever unlucky soul happens to be standing in that high-traffic spot in the kitchen at that point.

It is just such a pity that I spend more time in that house asleep than awake.


"It's a big house this, and very peculiar. Always a bit more to discover, and not knowing what you'll find around a corner. And Elves, sir! Elves here, and Elves there!"
- The Fellowship of the Ring, "Many Meetings"
Just no Elves though.

Wait.. do elven symbols count?

5 Comments:

Blogger Venitha said...

> There is no point maximizing the speed of travel when the direction is still unknown.

Good God, how true. Thanks for reminding me.

November 09, 2005 7:06 PM  
Blogger Southern Sky said...

Have you applied for your X'mas leave yet? Take 3 days (28-30) and you get a stretch of 10 off-days.

November 10, 2005 5:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you post a typical week or daily routine some time ? Coz a 60-hour week (12 hours / day) (assuming 5 working days) is typical in Singapore :) ... Work hard for 5 days - relax for 2 days. The 80-hour - on the other hand - is brutal ... but it would be nice to see your sched for a week.

November 11, 2005 12:07 PM  
Blogger KnightofPentacles said...

I am not really comfortable posting the intimate (and supremely boring) details of my day-to-day schedule.

Let us just say that I do the minimum of 40 hours at the day job. Depending on how busy the pizza place is, I chalk up another 20 to 30 hours there. Excluding time to get to/from work places.

So I suppose it is not really 80-hour work weeks unless you include the travelling time. Still, for a natural-born-slacker the schedule is really starting to grind me down..

November 11, 2005 1:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a (small) question that came up while reading your blog. Why don't you visit D, or why doesn't she come by for a short visit? Budget airlines have made the tix to Perth very cheap:)

November 16, 2005 8:57 PM  

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