Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Unfamilar Australia.

Things we Singapore heartlanders cannot understand about Australia:
  • You can freeze your butt off. Okay, so maybe not literally. Living one degree off the equator, anything below 20C is freezing to me!
  • Strine is really harsh on the ears and sounds even worse than street-level Cantonese.
  • Australia is basically a big piece of over-baked desert in the middle of a huge ocean, with a few liveable spots along the overpopulated coasts.
  • The Asians are a minority race. Positive racial discrimination not possible.
  • All the businesses close at 5. Except maybe Coles so you cannot starve.
  • High income-based taxation. No incentive to make lots of money.
  • Eating out is really expensive. No S$2 hawker food.
  • Island is way too big. Everything is too far away.
  • Too much beer. Too much drinking. Not enough water. Drought.
  • Too much wine. Who in the world makes wine out of flowers?!?
  • Harsh natural environment. Will miss my aircon concrete jungle comfort.
  • Home to the top 9 of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world.
  • Home to the most rare and deadliest spiders in the world.
  • Waters are full of killer crocodiles, poisonous jellyfish and sharks.
  • Too few high rise buildings. Too many unfenced natural cliffs.
  • Australians poke fun at everything and everyone.
  • Too crazy over sports. Too much cricket, hockey and rugby. Rugby without helmets!
  • Australian soap operas suck. Ever watch "Neighbours"? I rest my case.
  • Only country to misplace a Prime Minister while swimming.
  • Only country to dedicate a swimming pool to a PM lost while swimming.
  • National song is about a bushranger who ends up drowning in a creek.
  • National hero is a race horse who never won anything and dropped dead.
  • Military memorials to the the Gallipoli battlegrounds.
  • The kangaroo. The platypus. The koala. The people. All strange.
  • Hard to get any respect from the common people based on status or wealth.


1 Comments:

Blogger WK said...

hey there.

blog hopped onto your site via Tim's blog (eyesofascorpio). Was randomly browsing; saw this entry; and was compelled to comment re: Phar Lap (or, I think you were referring to Phar Lap).

Phar Lap won *many* races. In fact, his record is 37 wins, 2 seconds and 3 3rds in 51 starts (stats courtesy of http://www.pharlap.com.au/thestory/ ). Phar Lap also won the Melbourne Cup in 1930.

As for your last comment ("Hard to get any respect from the common people based on status or wealth"), I reckon that is the best thing about Australia. The sense of egalitarianism, and the general disdain for the "high and mighty" lot.

:)

September 29, 2005 8:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home