Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Unfamilar Australia.

Things we Singapore heartlanders cannot understand about Australia:
  • You can freeze your butt off. Okay, so maybe not literally. Living one degree off the equator, anything below 20C is freezing to me!
  • Strine is really harsh on the ears and sounds even worse than street-level Cantonese.
  • Australia is basically a big piece of over-baked desert in the middle of a huge ocean, with a few liveable spots along the overpopulated coasts.
  • The Asians are a minority race. Positive racial discrimination not possible.
  • All the businesses close at 5. Except maybe Coles so you cannot starve.
  • High income-based taxation. No incentive to make lots of money.
  • Eating out is really expensive. No S$2 hawker food.
  • Island is way too big. Everything is too far away.
  • Too much beer. Too much drinking. Not enough water. Drought.
  • Too much wine. Who in the world makes wine out of flowers?!?
  • Harsh natural environment. Will miss my aircon concrete jungle comfort.
  • Home to the top 9 of the 10 deadliest snakes in the world.
  • Home to the most rare and deadliest spiders in the world.
  • Waters are full of killer crocodiles, poisonous jellyfish and sharks.
  • Too few high rise buildings. Too many unfenced natural cliffs.
  • Australians poke fun at everything and everyone.
  • Too crazy over sports. Too much cricket, hockey and rugby. Rugby without helmets!
  • Australian soap operas suck. Ever watch "Neighbours"? I rest my case.
  • Only country to misplace a Prime Minister while swimming.
  • Only country to dedicate a swimming pool to a PM lost while swimming.
  • National song is about a bushranger who ends up drowning in a creek.
  • National hero is a race horse who never won anything and dropped dead.
  • Military memorials to the the Gallipoli battlegrounds.
  • The kangaroo. The platypus. The koala. The people. All strange.
  • Hard to get any respect from the common people based on status or wealth.


Blogger WK said...

hey there.

blog hopped onto your site via Tim's blog (eyesofascorpio). Was randomly browsing; saw this entry; and was compelled to comment re: Phar Lap (or, I think you were referring to Phar Lap).

Phar Lap won *many* races. In fact, his record is 37 wins, 2 seconds and 3 3rds in 51 starts (stats courtesy of ). Phar Lap also won the Melbourne Cup in 1930.

As for your last comment ("Hard to get any respect from the common people based on status or wealth"), I reckon that is the best thing about Australia. The sense of egalitarianism, and the general disdain for the "high and mighty" lot.


September 29, 2005 8:38 PM  

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